Words By Lucky Smith
Jessica Obilom is an actress known for “Beautfully Broken”, “Trafficked” and UMC’s “Stuck With You”. She and I discussed her Nigerian background, living in the states vs. abroad, her experiences working on various film projects and more.
*Note: Our interview began early 2020 but the release was held up due to the pandemic. We revisited her interview with updated questions toward the end of the year.
We understand that you are Nigerian-American. What was your childhood like and where were you actually born?
Yes, Nigerian and proud! I was born in Austin, TX and moved to Nigeria when I was 11 to attend middle school. Growing up, I was the second oldest of 5 kids so I had a bit of a boss mentality. According to my parents, I was a stubborn child and a lot of times they would warn me that if I didn’t get my act together they would “send me to Nigeria”.
A lot of first generation Nigerian kids received the same empty threat, but mine wasn’t so empty. Being sent to Nigeria at 11 was a huge culture shock for me, and I honestly was so sad to be leaving my family behind. But I managed to get through the first year, and the following two years were smooth sailing. My aunt and uncle that I lived with were surprisingly a lot less strict than my parents, so I ended up thoroughly enjoying my new found pre-teen freedom. I made lifelong friends and truly had a blast. In hindsight, I am immensely grateful to my parents for blessing me with this amazing opportunity to learn my culture firsthand and fall deeply in love with it. I would not be who I am today if not for that experience.
In what way was being shipped off to Nigeria at the age of 11 a “culture shock” to you? Elaborate on the experience.
Well for one, my neighborhood went from a paved-road, clean cut suburb to a dirt-road, fend-for-yourself rural community. Not all the roads in my new neighborhood were dirt lol, but a good 50-60% were. My uncle and aunt had a crop farm literally outside the gates of our duplex. We would put the leftover scraps of food from cooking in a bucket, take it outside, and use it to fertilize the crops. My chores consisted of: washing my uncle’s car, fetching water from the well (we were fancy and had a well in the back of our house), mopping floors, cleaning the bathroom, helping my aunt cook, cleaning up chicken poop, washing my aunt’s and and uncle’s clothes by hand, feed the crazy dogs, etc etc. Silver lining…I didn’t have to walk a half mile to go fetch water with a bucket on my head like some of my less fortunate neighbors. That’s where I would have drawn the line lol. My uncle and aunt made a decent living so we could afford our own private water supply.
But, the biggest culture shock was probably my school and the education system. I’ll put it this way: I wouldn’t want to be alone in that school at night. It would probably be a great site for a horror movie lol. Think grey, no colors or personality, dusty concrete, sandy floors, sh*tty bathrooms. But I loved that school, and the people in it. Those people were crazy, but I loved them for it. I had the time of my life there.
Doing well in class was very important to students, and I found myself in intense battles to be the smartest in the class. Every student was ranked according to overall grades. I never got ranked first, but I once got 2nd, and I was so happy! Lol. But I was always in the top 20. Another thing was that teachers were allowed to beat students. I’ll say that again for the people in the back. Teachers were allowed to beat students! Yikes. So, yes, you better be on your best behavior. Detention was not the punishment, a beating was lol. However, I was the goody-two-shoes, wide-eyed “American girl” so I was pretty well behaved. But I had my moments. I remember two distinct punishments I received:
- Got a knocking on top of my head. Imagine someone banging on a door, but instead of the door, it’s your head.
- Got flogged with a strong stick in front of the whole school and then had to cut the tall overgrown weeds outside with a machete. I was 11.
Had you created any bonds with any of your classmates that you keep in touch with today?
Yes, a few of them. On a visit to Nigeria in 2015, I organized a mini reunion where about 7 of us came together (including my ex-boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend and first love lol). It was so amazing. But I keep in touch the most with my best friend Uchechi Duru. We have been best friends since then. She had my back through all things and didn’t judge me. She accepted me for who I was and she was always herself around me.
What made you decide to become an actor and when did you know it was your true calling?
I was 11 years old when I decided (a lot happened when I was 11 lol). It was before I left for Nigeria. I was watching television one day and as I watched the actors, I thought to myself, “That looks fun. And easy. I can do that.” I don’t remember what show it was, but since then I’ve never looked back. However, I knew acting was my true calling in August 2018. Or rather, I knew it was my true purpose. Because your desires and your purpose don’t always align. I was invited to speak at Celebrate Church in South Dakota of all places. I had never even heard of this church nor did I know a single person in that state. But they invited me to speak about my faith-based movie, Beautifully Broken, that had just been released in theaters. I was on a panel and sharing the stage with the freaking Mayor of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I just remember looking out into the faces of the congregation and feeling like I was where I was supposed to be. As an artist, your responsibility is to reflect the times and to tell stories. And stories are powerful. Stories can heal. Stories change people for the better. Beautifully Broken was the 2nd movie (the first was Trafficked) that I’d done that had had such a significant impact on audiences, and I knew on that stage that this was what God had called me to do.
For those who may not be aware, what info can you give us about the Urban Movie Channel as a whole?
It’s a fairly new online streaming platform that presents audiences with authentic never-before-seen black content. We’re talking movies, original series, documentaries, and even plays. It was created by the same man who created BET (Black Entertainment Television) back in the day. It’s very affordable at $5/month or $50/year and gives you access to so much.
Let’s talk about UMC’s “Stuck With You”. Tell us about the experience.
Stuck With You is a show about modern day black love and its complexities. It follows three intertwined couples as they navigate their relationships and try to balance the needs of their partners with their own needs. It’s a UMC original series helmed by the incomparable writer/director Patricia Cuffie-Jones. This show is a rollercoaster that is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat and always wanting more. It is also my first series regular role on a major platform so it’s really exciting! It’s really cool when you see all the hard work you’ve put in begin to pay off. God is good.
Generally, men in power positions aren’t expected to remain faithful but it seems that this rings true for even the man with nothing. Do you believe that all men cheat?
No, not all men are the same. However, I do believe that a lot of men cheat. All I know is that I’m probably never going to think “my man would never cheat on me.” Not to say that when I’m in a relationship I’m going to be paranoid and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. No. I’m just going to know that anything is possible and I need to do what I can in the relationship to lower that probability of ever getting cheated on. I really hope it never happens because only the Good Lord knows what I’d do lol.
Being Nigerian, how do you feel about polygyny? There are people adopting the lifestyle in America but I’m not sure I know of many cases where it works out.
My grandfather had two wives. And as far as I know, everybody turned out alright. These days it is not as common in Nigeria, but it is in our history. I personally don’t support it, and I never got to know my grandfather’s second wife. I’m not sure how it’s working out for Americans either, but I would never. Just pick one or stay single, sheesh.
In America, we are currently in the #metoo and women empowerment era and a lot of women are actively seeking equality which could be equal pay or just being able to sleep with whoever they want without being looked down upon. I read that in Nigeria, adultery is acceptable for men but not women. Being part of both cultures, how do you feel about that?
I wouldn’t say it’s acceptable, I would say it’s just less of a big deal in Nigeria. Women turn the other cheek more easily, especially if their man is wealthy and/or providing for them. But yes, a bigger deal is made when a woman does the cheating. It’s just one of the many double standards women in Africa face. Of course it’s wrong, but it is what it is right? That’s the least of Nigeria’s problems to be honest. But generally speaking, Nigeria is behind on the #MeToo and women empowerment movement unfortunately. I can only hope that our country will one day soon make that a priority in the same way America has begun to. I hope a lot of things for Nigeria. We have a lot of work to do.
Ok, jumping back into acting, what has been your most challenging role and why?
My most challenging role was Mali in the feature film Trafficked. Mali was a sex trafficking victim from Nigeria that had been trafficked from country to country for 5 years. She has a son back in Nigeria that she doesn’t think she will ever see again because she has accumulated such a large debt. A lot of these women have to pay back a “debt” before their release will ever even be considered. And this can take years. So everything I just said is the reason why this role was so challenging for me. Mali was the complete opposite of who I am and what I’ve experienced. I had to do several weeks of research and character building just to begin to understand that world and put myself in the mind of such a character. Working on this film was truly a rewarding experience that caused me to grow not only as an artist, but also as a human. I was able to give a voice to the voiceless, and it will forever be one of the most beautiful and sad experiences of my life. I think about and advocate for those in bondage all the time, and I pray that God will bring about the end to their nightmares. With more awareness and government intervention, we can make a difference.
What was it like working with veteran actor, Brian Thompson in “Trafficked”?
Brian was so great to work with! I got a chance to work with him and Patrick Duffy. They were both super down-to-earth and I never felt intimidated. I was definitely secretly fan-girling over Patrick. I’ve been a fan of his since Step by Step! There’s a moment in the movie where my character hits Brian over the head with a glass bottle. Definitely one of my coolest on-screen moments! Brian had a lot of great action moments that were pretty awesome to watch in real life and to see how some movie magic is created.
Hollywood has seemed to embrace more black projects over the last few years and a lot of black actors are What is your take on Hollywood as you navigate through it?
Oh Hollywood. Shout out to Black Panther for making it cooler to be African, and proving to Hollywood that black movies can sell overseas. It really sucks that black people still have to constantly fight to get in the rooms, be seen, taken seriously, or get the accolades we deserve. That is why it is important for us to continue to create our own projects, and support one another’s projects. And once one of us gets in, we have to make sure to leave the door cracked for someone else, until we’re all in. We can’t keep waiting on Hollywood to get it together. I’m currently working on the 4th draft of my feature film script which is set in Nigeria. Nonetheless, Hollywood is slowly starting to get it. We see that when powerhouses like Netflix creates a whole division for Nigerian projects under the umbrella of Netflix Naija. We see that when huge studios are led by black presidents. Either way, if you’re black, you should be creating.
2020 had been a draining year for a lot of people. What have you done to stay safe as well as positive?
Oh, 2020. Where do I even begin? One thing is for sure, this is a year that none of us will ever forget. This year, the wool was removed from the eyes of many, mine included. My mind was blown by how distinctly Americans, at the heart, are basically divided right down the middle. A country is supposed to be a union, unified with one voice. America is so incredibly far from that, and that is more evident now than it has been in my lifetime.
But luckily, I am able to occupy my mind with other things, things that bring me joy. With all the down time, I redecorated my apartment and became a plant mom for the first time. If I was going to be locked in the house, I needed to create a space that would spark joy. Now, I walk into my home and literally feel a sense of peace and harmony wash over me. With all the craziness of the outside world, I think it is crucial that the space where you lay your head is one that will grant you peace. I am blessed to have had the resources to redecorate during a global pandemic. I do not take that for granted. God really showed out for me this year, despite the negativity that has been swarming all around us. 2020 allowed me to really lock in and be intentional about growing my relationship with God, and I am in the best place spiritually that I have ever been in my life. And don’t even get me started on my tribe. I have a group of friends that constantly lift me up, constantly crack me up, and are all people that I look up to in some way, shape or form. I would not have been able to survive this year without them!
I stay safe by social distancing, wearing a mask, and keeping my hands clean. This fight is not over!
What is your favorite show on television currently and why?
Grey’s Anatomy! It may be weird, but I like to cry when I watch TV and movies. And anybody who’s seen Grey’s Anatomy knows it’s a constant tear jerker. In addition to that, the writers always come through with amazing storylines, I’m constantly learning about life through the patients on the show, and of course the fact that it’s helmed by a black woman, the Shonda Rhimes, just puts the icing on the cake. Not to mention, I’ve learned a lot about medicine haha.
Other than acting, what are some of your other passions?
I love karaoke! If I could sing, I probably would have pursued a career in that. I love singing and dancing, and putting on a show. My singing can probably make a baby cry, but that doesn’t stop me from singing my heart out whenever I get the chance lol. I also enjoy reading dope fiction novels like Children of Blood and Bone, and creating cute home DIY projects. I wish I could say writing is a passion, but screenwriting is no joke. Although, I’m definitely sharpening that skill thanks to my writers’ group.
How do you feel about Biden/Harris becoming our next President/Vice President? Do you think there will be any change specifically for black people?
Cue Pharell’s “Happy”! I am just so relieved knowing that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is on his way out of office. It is time to restore some order in this country. The results of this election was evidence of the glaring divide in our country. Right now, all I hope is that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris can find a way to narrow that divide, even just a little. Because we cannot go on like this. Black people have said enough is enough. We will not have it. Do I think there will be any specific change for us? Honestly, I can’t confidently say yes. America is great at putting a bandaid over our issues and pretending like we didn’t first need to clean the blood and apply a healing ointment. In spite of that, I think black people will be re-inspired, especially black women. Kamala Harris made history, and that is something for us to celebrate and gain some momentum from. Black people made history at the polls. We came out in large numbers and voted. This cannot be a fad; it must be a norm. Kerry Washington said it best: “You may not be thinking about politics, but politics is thinking about you.” Black people need to stay informed because knowledge is power. We can’t sit back and chill. We must take back what is ours. And that begins with voting, and not just for the president. For local officials too! They are the ones that directly address the needs of our local communities and neighborhoods. That’s where we must start. Overall, voting is a form of self-care. To my reader, do you care about yourself?
What is one thing you wish you had the power to change?
Homelessness. It deeply hurts me to think that some people literally have nothing in this life. I can’t imagine living on the streets or living in my car. I had a friend who told me that he had once lived in his car for a year. We were friends at the time and he kept it a secret from me. When he told me I just broke down in tears. Homelessness is such a hardship, and I hate that anyone has to experience that. I really do. One day I hope to be significantly instrumental in ending the homelessness crisis around the world. I’ve got big dreams lol.
Tell us the biggest misconception about yourself.
My guess would be that I always have it together. People usually speak to me like I have it all figured out. While that is flattering, I don’t have it all figured out. Like most, I have set goals for myself and I can be hard on myself when I don’t achieve them, or if it takes me longer to achieve them than anticipated. I am my biggest critic. But these days, I am trying to put less pressure on myself and I am being intentional about not trying to control every little thing. Many things are simply out of our control. So you just have to let go and let God. That is what I am actively working on.
You’re in season 3 of “Stuck with You”. How much have you grown on this show and what can we expect from your character KATRINA this season?
Stuck With You is the biggest TV role I’ve had so far. But I believe my series regular role in the YouTube series Stepford Sidechix helped me prepare for it. I’ve learned that preparing for a role in a series is not the same as preparing for a role in a movie. Going into season 3 of Stuck With You, my second season on the show (I am not in season 1, which is on YouTube. Urban Movie Channel picked up the show afterwards for season 2), I have found myself feeling more confident and comfortable both on set and as Katrina. I feel a sense of ownership and a higher sense of duty to be even better than I was last season. My character Katrina cries a lot less this season (lol), which was something that I had to adjust to because I had gotten comfortable with the crying. I can cry my butt off if I want to. But in season 3, we get to see Katrina in a new light. It’s like I’ve been re-introduced to her and am getting to explore her in new and exciting ways, which has been so refreshing. With that being said, you can expect a stronger, more confident Katrina. And that’s all I’m going to say!
You have quite a few roles in upcoming projects that are in post-production. Do you care to give us a little insight on them?
Sure! I can talk about Discovering Brooklynn written and directed by Aliya Brooks. It’s a series about a girl named Brooklynn who is discovering her sexuality and overall identity. We’ve only shot the pilot episode and will be shopping that around to different festivals. I really loved playing Brooklynn and I cannot wait to live out the rest of her story. I also have another upcoming project called Black Excellence written by Darryl Wesley and directed by Javicia Leslie. It is a film that starts a dialogue on black families and the false feeling of always having to appear as perfect. It answers the question: “Is it important for families to eat together at the dinner table?” Black Excellence will be available for virtual viewings in early 2021.
Lastly, how can people find you via social media?
@thejessicaobilom on Instagram and @obloombloom on Twitter. I also have a Facebook page under Jessica Obilom Actor.
Photo By: OneTakeJake Photos
